My Loved One Has Dementia
Living with someone who has dementia is a mentally and physically difficult ordeal, especially if it’s one of your parents. It not only takes an emotional toll on the sufferer but is also demanding and draining for the family members. We can list down dementia symptoms and signs through the internet, but the real progression of this disease changes the relationships of the person who is ill with his near and dear ones. This is one of the main hardships that dementia patients face during their illness and this is the one that families have difficulty coping with as well. Knowing the early signs of dementia and its various stages beforehand can help predict what will happen next and how to manage the patient and his/her surroundings.
“The summer of 2012 was the most difficult summer for our family. My father’s dementia progressed rapidly and with little to no knowledge or support about this debilitating condition, we were at a loss regarding how to take care of Dad or even how to behave around him. It was an emotional struggle for all of us, but more so for my dad, who was losing his family sooner than he had anticipated. Understanding dementia is the first step towards battling this disease, and knowing each stage and onset of conditions with it is the key to finding the right treatment for your loved ones.“
A Guide to Dementia
Early Signs of Dementia
● Forgetfulness
● Getting lost while walking/driving
● Losing track of time
● Trouble finding words or keeping a conversation
● Difficulty in performing familiar tasks
● Misjudging object distance
To catch the early onset of dementia, use this Self-Administered SAGE Test to get an informal assessment. Consult your physician for medical purposes.
Dementia Symptoms in Mood or Behavior
● Feeling anxious, sad, or even angry about the condition
● Changes in personality
● Social withdrawal
● Inappropriate behavior
● Not interested in anyone else’s behaviors/emotions
Why Dementia Occurs?
Dementia symptoms can occur because of an array of reasons which may or may not be related to one’s…
● Genetic makeup
● Lifestyle
● Age
● Environment
● Mental Health
● Or a mixture of the above
What to Expect?
Dementia is a progressive disease and there is no known dementia treatment that can stall or reverse the brain damage caused by dementia. Foresight and early management are the only solutions to offer timely support when the onset occurs.
Stages of Dementia
There is no timeline to predict when and how rapidly the 7 dementia stages will occur. But knowing them can help loved ones to provide timely care to the loved one who is ill.
No impairment
Very Mild Decline: Slight changes in behavior with complete independence.
Mild Decline: Changes in reasoning, repetition, and memory problems.
Moderate Decline: Short-term memory impairment.
Moderately Severe Decline: Confusion about life events and dependence on daily tasks.
Severe Decline: Memory loss, dependence on others, and emotional difficulties
Very Severe Decline: Zero speech and motor skills with complete dependence.
“With the progression of my beloved father’s dementia, each dementia stage brought fresh obstacles and difficulties in his care and social life. He was a strong man with a bubbly personality, but watching him withdraw himself socially was the hardest part. In between trying to understand his emotions and balancing his care with our prior family life, things became impossible and our house was shattered with unspoken love and embraces.”
Knowing how to manage his dementia and our own conflicting emotions should have been the first step in dealing with this debilitating condition. So many conflicts and emotional turmoils could have been avoided, if we had known what to expect and how to manage those changes in him associated with dementia.
If you feel you are in the same boat, here are a few things that may help you and your family cope with your loved one’s dementia and how to handle the illness and your own emotions more healthily.
Dementia and Emotional Wellbeing
The best support you can offer your loved one who is suffering from dementia is your time. But for that, it is important to take care of your mental health. Joining support groups with other people like you and learning how to cope with this illness in your family is a good start to getting practical advice.
It’s Not Your Fault
It takes a lot of time to figure out what works between the dementia patient and their carer, especially if it’s a family member. If things don’t work out as planned, don’t be too hard on yourself. As dementia progresses, some activities that may work one day may not work another time.
Talk To Someone
Sometimes talking to someone going through a similar phase can help in making sense of your emotions related to your loved one’s dementia symptoms. If you can’t find that support around you, then join support groups online and in person to get help.
Acknowledge Feelings
Your loved one’s progressive dementia may cause them to feel angry, bitter, or sad. Don’t ignore them but acknowledge their feelings with statements like, “I know you are feeling frustrated with …. Let’s go for a walk and try later/talk about it!” Remind yourself to acknowledge your feelings as well.
The Caregiver’s Wellbeing
➔ Look for caregiver support groups. Other people with similar experiences may offer you advice and guidance.
➔ Search for respite care. Respite care is a temporary professional caring service like a seniors living group which can offer a break to the family member taking care of their loved one. Search for a local social services agency that offers respite care.
➔ Search for adult daycare centers. These can consistently enrich your loved one’s life and offer respite to you and the dementia patient.
➔ Plan for the future. Once dementia is diagnosed, it’s important to acknowledge that it is here to stay and it will only progress from this point onwards. It is okay to look for senior living facilities that can take better medical and emotional care for the affected.
It is important to do your research for your family member with dementia. This is the most important service that you can provide to them by staying in control of the progressing illness as much as you can. Don’t overlook the importance of respite care and don’t feel guilty about asking for help. Your love and care will shine through to your concern for your loved one and even though they may not vocalize it through words, their hearts will warmly remember your embrace and goodwill till the end.